Naughty Girls Dream In Color by Alicia Winski

I am a naughty girl
(or so some would say),
I'm messy and scattered with my
mind over there, when it should be
over here

I like to color outside the lines,
breaking the rules and often get
bit in the ass for it--

(teeth are a lot sharper than
   they look--and I have the scars
       to prove it--blood coagulates slowly,
         but it does eventually stop flowing)

I like to flout convention--
it's rarely with malicious or
deliberate intention--

(this outlaw nature knows no better)

but living with condemnation is becoming
a secondary way of life these days

I often make people uncomfortable
with my silence; my eyes fixated on
their face and they--,
they don't know how to handle it,
their eyes in rapid shift mode--

(where can I run to?
    where can I run to?)

they rarely realize I'm not really
listening, I'm busy dreaming, and

(it's not difficult to sleep
    with eyes opened)

I tend to keep my opinions to myself,
    (well, for the most part anyway)

people don't want to hear it--
my thinking doesn't seem to conform to
the 'norm', the 'standards' set by a society
polluted, tainted with inhibition, with
hypocrisy, and

(I find it difficult to catch my
    breath through smoke and mirrors)

I am intensely passionate in a dispassionate world, I'm fierce in my love--
Making love to me is no momentary
distraction, no anonymous action quickly
taken, no cheap flirtation, a hasty exchange
of flesh and fluid--

No, my love has teeth--

I bite into it, shaking it to its core,
my love is devastating in its ferocity

(roll over, show me your vulnerability,
    that underbelly so soft, so tender and
        I will show you mine)

I will absorb all you have to give,
take you onto me, scorching you
with my intensity--
red hot, volcanic, incinerating,
and when you lie spent, scalded--

I will flow over you with the cooling,
healing balm of my love, cauterizing your wounds, smoothing old scars left by the desecration, the careless devastation of those who have come before me

I like to run with scissors,
skip through puddles, laugh out-loud
in inappropriate places, while singing off-key, dancing in public, detached, immune to those disapproving faces

(Act your age woman!
    You're an adult for Christ' sake--
        Behave yourself!)

I find humor where most don't, find sorrow where others find humor--
I don't connect the dots,
go from A to Z,
I am wakeful while others sleep,
I give away what most would keep,
I collect the uncollectable--
I find music in silence

I am magical in a world sorely
in need of magic--

I am messy in a world of anal retentives,
I am a naughty, naughty, naughty girl
in a cookie cutter world of good behavior
and while others dream their dreams in
crisp, pristine Armani black and white--

I dream—

Naughty Girls Dream In Color by Alicia Winski

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